22 September 2012

A Twist of the Wrist

Mr Mustard is a keen motorcyclist and has read the following book. It is more popular than he realised. How amusing that it should have been written by Keith Code, and not Code, of Conduct.
Twist Risk Basics
Mr Mustard will be on his motorcycle tomorrow in order to whizz (at 30mph max) to Cafe Buzz (free parking for motorcycles in pay & display bays whether the signs are blacked out or not). He will make sure he doesn't get in front of an erratically driven Toyota.

On Wednesday evening after Brian's grandstanding performance as Chairman of the Budget & Performance Overview & Scrutiny committee (some self scrutiny would now be in order) it is customary for the bloggers and friends and sometimes councillors of all 3 parties to retire to a well known local hostelry for a nice glass of Young's beer, a couple of large glasses of Sauvignon or a soft drink or shandy depending on the means of transport home. Mr Mustard usually gives a lift to anyone who needs one which is often another blogger or two. As he drove the blogger bus past the Town Hall the leader of the council Richard Cornelius was standing on the pavement chatting to other councillors and/or officers (Mr Mustard couldn't clock them all as he was driving) and so Mr Mustard gave Richard a cheery wave and Richard, being so polite, couldn't stop himself from waving back. He is such a sport that Mr Mustard is thinking of personally inviting him to the pub for a post-meeting libation and will stand him a drink (he hasn't told the other bloggers this but the pub is of course public so he is sure they will welcome a bit more company). The price of the drink is likely to be a thorough grilling by whoever is in the pub that night. Cameras will be kept in their bags and so there should not be any unseemly bar room brawls.

Mr Mustard likes to email Richard with advice or suggestions and he did it twice this week. So they don't feel left out every councillor gets their own copy except Brian Coleman for this one.

Dear Cllr. Cornelius

Oh dear. It seems, to all accounts, that a bad example has been set by Cllr Coleman (I have for once left him off the circulation list) and I doubt that this is the first time on which he has flouted the very parking regulations that he was responsible for until the Cabinet reshuffle.

I think the Council will look hypocritical if it continues to chase any unpaid parking tickets currently in issue for the same offence of a car parked in a loading bay and not in the process of loading.

Why don't you announce an amnesty for that offence? It can't be all that many tickets so would hardly affect the Special Parking Account (which isn't meant to be used for revenue raising in any event) and would generate some much needed good publicity for Barnet Council. You could tie the loading bay ticket cancellation offer to an undertaking from the motorist to not repeat the offence in the future thus achieving the laudable aim of improving compliance. It's a bit like those driver retraining days that are offered instead of penalty points, nudging citizens into better behaviour rather than beating them with a stick (in the form of a PCN).

Have a lovely weekend.

Yours sincerely

Mr Mustard

Richard often replies but not always. He hasn't had time to reply to this recent message yet and he is probably now engaged on an evening of damage limitation and struggling with what he should do. It's too late to go back Richard, the damage is done, look here it is:

Broken Barnet; Broken Wrist
Start looking to the future. May 2014 is just around the corner (just like that mysterious black van, apparently)

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard


  1. Misread your wording first time as "...he doesn't get in front of an erotically-driven Toyota".

    Got it right (and perhaps more feasible) the second time.

  2. Pleased to inform you baarnett that Mr Mustard has been out, breakfasted very well at Cafe Buzz (veggie breakfast with halloumi as a special treat), bumped into a councillor there, a lovely man, and then whizzed over to Mill Hill library to catch the councillor surgery question time had already wound up and is now safely home again.

    Good joke from Philip when I said I was sorry to be late joining him "Why, am I in pieces"


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