Dear Percy

what a cute mole

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Dear Percy

I have a mole problem. They keep appearing in the large lawn at the business park where I work and I can't get rid of them. I live in the town and am not used to the country ways they have in Barnet. It's not like this on the golf courses of Spain. I have read up on them and generally there will only be one mole or two in your lawn that will need to be caught or scared off, but in my lawn they are in their hundreds & they seem to be multiplying by the day & crisscrossing tunnels all over my lawn.

I have tried getting my gardening assistants to put out some traps to catch them, but these moles are clever, I can't catch them as they hide & keep dodging the traps. They aren't stupid enough to show their faces and they look like normal creatures.

I have been hiding secret things in the One Barnet lawn and they keep digging them up and giving them to the boggarts. The boggarts have found out about my plans to turf out some of the lawn and to make the rest grow faster using less fertiliser and now I look like a right muggle.

The moles move about faster than a Town Hall Tax Dodger and don't stay in one place for long before they are off.

I thought about gassing them all but as I have never seen one I am afraid that I will kill all the creatures in the park and then no labour at all would take place and my grand plans for a better garden with less money would fail.

The worry is so bad that all my hair is falling out. Surely there must be a sure-fire way of getting rid of moles, isn’t there? What should I do?

Yours in hope

Uncle F

Interim Assistant Director of Gardening

North London Business Park

---

Dear Uncle F

Thank you for writing to me.

Moles are lovely creatures and part of everyday country life in Barnet. It also looks like the things that you are hiding which you think should be secret really ought to be public anyway so think of the moles as your furry little helpers, they do the digging. The boggarts are your conscience and perform a useful function of raking over things and building the public display garden.

Did you know that the name Thrower means one who twists the fibre – probably wool – into thread or yarn. Are you sure we aren't related as I hear that you are trying to weave together a load of old yarn into a set of emperor's new clothes.

I don't think you are cut out for the One Barnet country life and should go back to the city or move to Spain where you will be rid of the moles for good.

You will also never be rid of the moles until you stop hiding things in the lawn.

Yours in hope

Percy

Drip / droop / drupal - what's the difference?

One Barnet is suffering a bit of droop that is for sure. What is Mr Mustard on about? The new website, such as it is, that's what. Tonight Mr Mustard defended the website saying that just because £640,000 has been spent you can't expect it to be fully functional from the off, or can you? When we say website we are talking about the CMS / Content Management System.

Let us wind back to the marking for the "new" website. Here it is, courtesy of Mr X.

Website tender Scoring

Drat. It is sideways. Let us have the cost scoring  in a neat little table with the 4 free providers grouped together and the two that have to be paid for to the right.

		Open source = free				Commercial
	Who	Nomensa	Portsurf	Squiz	RR	2e2	JADU
Life cost	Lambert	5	15	15	15	15	15
	Grice	10	15	10	15	15	15
	? #1	10	15	10	17	12	15
	? #2	10	15	10	15	15	15
Schedule	Lambert	10	10	10	10	10	10
	Grice	10	10	12	15	10	15
	? #1	10	10	12	15	10	15
	? #2	10	10	10	10	10	10
Total	Lambert	15	25	25	25	25	25
	Grice	20	25	22	30	25	30
	? #1	20	25	22	32	22	30
	? #2	20	25	20	25	25	25
	Totals	75	100	89	112	97	110

The names of two of the people who scored the project were secret because they are too lowly to allow their details into the public domain. They are however important enough to decide how £600,000+ gets spent. Do you find that strange?

Look, Grice, he of the rapid transfer to BT, and A N Other #2 scored the whole life cost identically for all 6 potential suppliers. Anyone would think they had been sitting together.

Then for the cost schedule we have two pairs of identical scores. The four of them must have been sat around a table with 2 people sat each side. No cribbing thank you.

A very small range of numbers used for this scoring, was there not?

Then what is really weird when scoring for cost is that JADU which cost £600,000+ in total to buy and implement scores only 2 points less than RR ( which is called Reading Room, and is based on Drupal) which is open source software and so costs nothing to buy.

Nomensa is also free software and yet it gets the lowest score. The scoring all looks very odd.

Here is what the scorers said about the various systems.

Scoring Notes

You will already have noticed the glaring error. Scoring for cost has been done based on 30 points and yet the summary says it was out of 40 points. 

Look, Squiz could have delivered in March 2010. That is 2 years ago. We could have had a working website by now for next to no money. Not good enough for the One Barnet consultants who have made a pretty packet out of the current wobbly website.

The FOI request

The above information came from an FOI request. Here is part of the exchange.

Council web site

Please be kind enough to supply details of your software selection studies and reports, regarding the Authority's forthcoming replacement web site.

This should include comparisons, including features, maintenance costs and risks, of the chosen JADU software with rival content management systems, including open source ones.

Please also provide details of resources, including costs, to develop, install and maintain the software, and train users.

Finally, please indicate how access to archived material on the current site will be maintained.

Mr X

The majority of our software selection detail is Commercially Sensitive and therefore cannot be released. The detail which is available is already in the public domain via the DPR authorising the award of the contract. This is available on the council website, but is also attached here for convenience.

Resourcing for the Website Transformation project is included in the attached spreadsheet.

Can you please clarify what you mean by archived material. If this relates to web content we currently only hold and make available current web content and this will be the case with the new website. If this relates to Committee papers, although out of scope for this project a new system is being implemented and that will maintain access to all of the archived material that the system currently holds.

Yours sincerely,

Mohsin Abbasi

Business Support Officer (added by Mr Mustard as this shy individual never puts his title on emails - is he not proud to be a BSO?)

One Barnet Programme Office

Thank you for your email.

What is the answer to my question on open-source software, please? Has it been considered?

By definition, open-source software cannot be commercially sensitive.

Regards,

Mr X

Dear Mr X

The council considered using open source software early on but it didn't meet our full needs and therefore the decision was made to competitively procure a CMS provider.

We do however use some open source software where appropriate and currently run an ideas site in droop le (sic) for instance. The council’s intranet was also developed with open source software.

Yours sincerely,

Mohsin Abbasi

Business Support Officer

One Barnet Programme Office

Thank you for your prompt email in reply.

Your consideration of using open source software "early on" is no doubt fully documented, and is therefore legitimately part of my original FoI request.

Please therefore be kind enough to supply that information.

To be clear: please supply your full analysis of open source (including names of "brands") against commercial software, in terms of functionality, cost, training, migration, maintenance, and whatever other criteria you used.

Mr X

Dear Mr X

I am writing in response to your request under the Freedom of Information Act, as detailed below. Please find attached a summary of the tender comparison documents which have been redacted for commercially sensitive information. I am sorry that this was provided out of time. I am afraid I have only recently taken over as project sponsor for the new website and have hence had to search extensively to find this.

The council was initially keen to use a system like Drupal for the new site. This should explain why not. We have used Drupal for a series of other purposes. The council’s current “Ideas website” is based on this system.

Sent on behalf of Chris Palmer, Assistant Director, Communications

Johnathan Schroder Internal Communications Manager

Conclusions

1. Obtaining information from Barnet Council isn't only a sloppy, inadequate,  drawn out and unsatisfactory experience for Mr Mustard. Everyone who asks something suffers. 

2. This question was not answered at all. "Please also provide details of resources, including costs, to develop, install and maintain the software, and train users." Too difficult perhaps? Barnet Council can expect to hear from Mr X. asking for a review.

3. Mohsin Abbasi is content to write "droop le" which is obviously complete nonsense. You have a computer on your desk. If someone gives you a word or phrase you have not heard of then go and look it up rather than parroting rubbish. "Drupal" was the word that you wanted. In case you are interested Mr Abbasi, and why does Mr Mustard doubt it, Portsurf and Reading Room are Drupal based systems. 

4. Chris Palmer aka The Tooting Twister but officially the Assistant Director of Communications (but not on the town hall payroll) is in charge of this project. Is he a secret computer expert? The job description that he has does not mention any expertise being required in web development so, and based upon the results so far, it doesn't look like he is. Only a sad little Johnny no-mates would be an expert in computer coding eh Chris?

5. Drupal - "It didn't meet our full needs". Really? and yet it meets the needs of Sony, data.gov, symantec connect, Proctor & Gamble, Virgin Radio, Le Figaro, london.gov.uk and on and on (just search for drupal sites on google). As usual the council have issued a statement that takes time to pick apart as you have to find out exactly what their full needs where but which appears, on the face of it, to be absolute bunkum. A better reply would have set out the specifications X,Y & Z which the council felt were not met by using Drupal but as usual they were in a terrible hurry to get the FOI question off their desk with a half-hearted reply.

live link to drupal.org

If this posting is not up to scratch then my visit to the Strangers' Bar at the House of Commons yesterday evening must be to blame (self-inflicted and many thanks to my host for the experience and the beer). I managed not to thump any MPs (google Eric Joyce MP if you don't know what I am on about) and I was in a small group with Mrs Angry that bumped into Mike Freer MP (he was pre-occupied with sorting out the finances of the country so appearing to be less than over-joyed to see one of his constituents can be forgiven). Mr Mustard also had the great pleasure to speak to David Hencke in person, a real life Westminster journalist.

Time to do some work which will keep Mr Mustard in beer money.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

Taxi!

Someone at Barnet Council does have a sense of humour. Here is an image from the new website about registering to vote in the London Assembly elections.

you only have until today

Is that a taxi on order to take the unsuccessful candidate home in? A parting gift.

Barnet Council (as you do read the blog quite a lot- hello Mr Palmer)

Can you change the website photo default to static please as it's bloody annoying the movement all the time when you are trying to read something. Having to stop the slideshow on every page with photos is just a waste of time. Didn't you show this site to any residents before you went live?

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

NLBP Parking Policy

A possible solution

Barnet Council don't just hack off residents and visitors to Barnet when it comes to Parking, they are now hacking off all of the staff to boot.

avoid this fashion faux pas: the Denver boot

Jacquie McGeachie has gone off to some secret project working for Nick Walkley (Mr Mustard does hope that the proper tendering arrangements were made which he will establish through a FOI request - sorry Mr Cornelius but this is the price of secrecy) and Sarah Murphy-Brookman (SMB) has stepped into her shoes (this is a figurative term) and is now spending her valuable time on parking for staff, not on important HR issues like making many of the workforce redundant. Parking shouldn't of course be a problem as anyone sensible would have taken out a lease on office space with adequate parking space to start with but this is Barnet Council we are talking about where crisis management may well be the order of the day.

So here is the sixth revision of the parking policy for staff which won't make SMB popular with staff, especially with essential car users whose car details are already on file and should have been issued with permits as a matter of course or with the staff who had to queue up for half an hour to get their permits or with the staff who were disturbed by the queue that snaked though their office whilst they were trying to work (which couldn't have been noisier if they were dancing the conga) except that their computers were up the shoot again so they couldn't work anyway.

Parking Policy February 2012

So para 1, why is parking space scarce? Bad management in signing a lease on premises where parking is scarce.

Para 4. Such bureaucracy. Who is going to want to park at NLBP who doesn't work there?

Para 4.3. Contractors and interims have to pay £25 a month by cheque. By cheque! What era are we in? This should be pay-by-phone surely?

Para 5. Permit misuse. Oh dear, two councillors have just handed their CPZ permits back because of misuse (allegedly - they don't admit it but then why hand your permit back?)The councillors have not been subject to any disciplinary action - one rule for them and another for staff?

Para 6. This is completely wrong. If an employee decides that rather than fighting their way into NLBP, or spending 15 minutes going round and round the car park looking for a space, they want to park outside and walk in then, as a member of the public, and one of the Queen's loyal subjects, they have as much right as anyone else to park on the highway (this might be none at all as we only have the right to pass along the highway but for all intents and purposes residents have no more rights than employees of Barnet Council ).. When Mr Mustard visited NLBP a few weeks ago he parked in Brunswick Park Road. He did not deprive a resident of a space. For all Mr Mustard knows said resident could have been parked in Mr Mustard's road at the same time. If we all start to get this parochial none of us will be able to leave home because we won't be able to park at our destination.

This policy needs some further thought. An employer, even a local authority, does not own the roads in the vicinity of its office and cannot forbid staff to park in them especially as it is not in their contract of employment, and don't even think of amending that. Very soon many of the staff at NLBP will be gone, contracted out to outsourced employers so the problem will diminish. Why not just ride this out?

You surely have better things to do with your expensive time than this Sarah Murphy-Brookman? Do you get a reserved space in the executive wing of the car park perchance?

How much staff time was wasted dishing out these pointless permits? Quite a bit.

To: AllStaff
Subject: New council site parking permits – collection details

As staff may know, a new permit system for parking on-site at NLBP, Barnet House and Mill Hill Depot is being introduced, to deal with the high number of permits currently in circulation and the difficulties that staff often experience in finding a parking space.

New permits will begin to be distributed from this Monday, 16 April, and staff should note the time and place of their nearest pick-up session and attend, with a completed application form as can be found at Annex 1 of the attached Parking Policy, a copy of their car insurance or MOT certificate and their LBB identity card. They will then be issued with a permit.

There is no charge for the permit for council employees, casual or as and when workers and temporary agency workers. Contractors will be required to pay £25 per month by cheque (made payable to London Borough of Barnet) to park at any of the three sites.

The pick-up sessions will run to the following schedule (on each day, the pick-up point will be staffed from 9.30am to 4.30pm and signs will direct you to where the team are located):

Monday 16 April – Ground Floor, Building 4 (track side)

Tuesday 17 April – Ground Floor, Building 4 (Atrium side)

Wednesday 18 April – First Floor, Building 4 (track side)

Thursday 19 April – First Floor, Building 4 (Atrium side)

Friday 20 April – Second Floor, Building 4 (track side)

Monday 23 April – Second Floor, Building 4 (Atrium side)

Tuesday 24 April – First Floor, Building 2 (near meeting room F10)

Wednesday 25 April – ‘wrap-up’ session (location to be confirmed)

Thursday 26 April – Barnet House (location to be confirmed)

Friday 27 April – Barnet House (location to be confirmed)

Monday 30 April – Mill Hill Depot (location to be confirmed)

Tuesday 1 May – Mill Hill Depot (location to be confirmed)

Working for an employer who has signed up to let their employees' cars be clamped is also pretty dire. Mr Mustard would park on the road every time and walk in. Find a nice road about 800m away, don't leave any clue in your car as to where you work and have a nice little walk in past the papershop etc. Job done.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

CCTV - coming to a PCN near you?

A few weeks ago Mr Mustard read an article in the Guardian about a day in the life of an NSL "traffic warden" (they are called Civil Enforcement Officers nowadays but everyone understands the phrase traffic warden).

One interesting part was they they have a name badge containing a very small video camera and the warden claimed he lifted it up to film periods of statutory observation. Here is a picture of the camera hidden in the name badge. Devilishly devious?

picture credit : http://www.scottishcommunications.com/body-worn-cctv.php

The name badge camera can record continuously for 10 hours which would be more than enough to cope with the entire shift of Barnet's traffic wardens. As we all know Barnet's enforcement is being contracted out to NSL from 1 May 2012.

Now Mr Mustard doesn't like to sit around doing nothing so he wrote to Pam Wharfe, the interim (for now) Director of Environment, Planning and Regeneration. Here is the slightly edited (just to cut out the superfluous bits) correspondence:

---

19 March 2012

Dear Ms Wharfe

I see from an article called "A working life: The Traffic Warden" in this Saturday's Guardian that NSL CEOs in Enfield wear a tiny camera which is sited within their name badge.

Does the contract that Barnet Council are signing/has signed with NSL

1 specify the use of body worn cctv,

2 forbid the use of body worn cctv or

3 is silent on the question?

Yours sincerely

Mr Mustard

---

12 April 2012

Dear Ms Wharfe

Please could I remind you about my below enquiry about CCTV and NSL that I sent to you on 19 March 2012.

---

13 April 2012

Dear M Mustard

I’ve been passed an enquiry from you about body worn CCTV for Civil Enforcement Officers.

I can confirm that the Barnet Specification neither requires nor precludes these devices.

I apologise for the delay in responding to this simple question.

John McArdle
Interim Parking Manager | Environment, Planning and Regeneration

---

13 April 2012 

Dear Mr McArdle

Thank you for the straightforward answer.

Now that I think about it I should have asked one further question.

If the contract neither requires not precludes the device what policy does the council have on the matter? ( if the answer is no policy then I think it precludes them ).

Many thanks

Mr Mustard

---

13 April 2012 

Dear Mr Mustard

The Council doesn’t have a policy, but is open to suggestion from NSL on how the service can best be delivered so not having an existing policy doesn’t preclude their use.

We haven’t discussed this option with NSL at all, but I do know that they use them elsewhere, Enfield being one example.

The use described in the article, which I didn’t see at the time so thank you for it, is unusual in that enforcement photographs are generally taken with a hand-held camera which is either a separate unit or part of the handheld computer. This allows the officer to more easily ‘point’ it at the subject be it a line, sign, or vehicle.

The CCTV unit is more often used to defuse conflict by providing both the officer and the motorist with a detailed record of any exchange, an approach which has been found to make both parties more thoughtful as to their words and actions. In this respect it is more useful in an overt position rather than concealed.

I hope that this further note is helpful to you.

John McArdle
Interim Parking Manager | Environment, Planning and Regeneration

---

16 April 2012

Dear Mr McArdle

Thank you for the further considered reply.

Being a "traffic warden" is an unpopular job and does lead to confrontation on occasion. Many years ago I stopped alongside a car in the High Street where a lady warden was being subject to a tirade of grossly offensive abuse from a motorist who had been issued with a ticket. Luckily a plains clothes policeman wandered past and took charge and so I did not have to try and intervene in what was an ugly confrontation. For that reason I have no objection to traffic wardens bearing obvious camera & recording equipment for use only when a confrontation is anticipated and I would hope that the vast majority of Barnet residents would agree with me.

However, the cameras which NSL use are, to all intents and purposes, hidden and will only record what they are pointed at so can be mis-used. For that reason, I am against the use of these tiny cameras and think that most residents would be unhappy to be filmed by them.

One can understand that sometimes motorists do get annoyed, particularly if they are issued with a ticket in incorrect circumstances and then might have to deal with a stubborn correspondence clerk. The adage of innocent until proven guilty is reversed in the case of parking tickets.

Even the handheld cameras can be misused. Please see the attached photograph 

which I took in Chipping Close on Friday evening. I have no idea whose car it is; I was just passing. Guess what the piece of white paper is? It is a dispensation that someone has printed out and put in the windscreen of their car. The number appears to be 6***. So now that motorist has to start making representations when they appear to have done nothing wrong. I know that you are having some troubles with Civica at the moment - are the details of motorists with dispensations not reaching the handheld equipment of the wardens? If that is the case, is the council being entirely fair and honest in its dealings by wandering around issuing tickets that they know ought not to be issued. Are you merely passing the problem on to innocent motorists?

I would be interested to know if the photographs taken on this occasion by the traffic warden also show the piece of paper with the dispensation number? Couldn't you allow your wardens to use their judgment in such a case?

If the ticket has been incorrectly issued you could make someones life easier by writing to them straightaway apologising for the error and cancelling the ticket.

I look forward to hearing from you

Yours sincerely

Mr Mustard

Oh dear, more out of office annoyance followed.

Thank you for your e-mail but I am out of the office until Friday 20 April so will not see it until then. Unless it is some matter that I need to deal with personally it may be better for you to contact instead one of the following:

Jose Garcia
Enforcement Manager
All enforcement matters including NSL mobilisation

Jose.garcia@barnet.gov.uk
Tel: 020 8359 5001 Mob 07787 266422

Mick Dolan
Interim Parking Maintenance Manager
Maintenance, finance and procurement
Mick.dolan@barnet.gov.uk
Tel: 02083595161 Mob: 07903109744

James Norman
Information Team Leader
Penalty Charge Notice processing
james.norman@barnet.gov.uk
Tel: 020 8359 7799

Geraldine Edwards
Acting Operations Manager
Complaints, FOIA requests, and all non PCN correspondence together with NSL mobilisation for Business Process Operations

Geraldine.edwards@barnet.gov.uk
Tel: 020 8359 7542

Now is the time for you to have your say on body worn CCTV. If you don't think it is suitable for Barnet then send an email. I suggest the following receipients

pam.wharfe@barnet.gov.uk

john.mcardle@barnet.govo.uk

cllr.b.coleman@barnet.gov.uk

cllr.r.cornelius@barnet.gov.uk

Mr Mustard knows of 3 tickets issued to residents who hold a dispensation. It is tedious but you will have to appeal. Why not ask for compensation of an amount equal to the value of the defective ticket?

Update email received 07.52 ( Mr Mustard was in the final throes of his slumbers and only just had his first cup of tea and it is now 09:34 ) 

Dear Mr Mustard

I’m out of circulation for a couple of days but have asked a colleague to look into this for me.

We’ll get back to you this week.

John McArdle

Whatever else people might think of Mr McArdle he is at least diligent and able to prioritise so thank you John for getting someone onto this as you can get yourself and the department some brownie points if you fix this dispensation problem fast, sadly they will only cancel out some of the minus points you have had, but it is progress and it would be "putting the community first"

Update Saturday 21 April 2012

Mr McArdle has done his stuff and replied as follows, with Mr Mustard's added emphasis:

Dear MrMustard

I have now had the opportunity to review our records concerning the PCN issued to the vehicle displaying the reference to Dispensation number 6*** in Chipping Close, and can confirm that the Dispensation was valid for that location at that time.

The issuing officer has noted the number, but has wrongly concluded that it was not valid and proceeded on that basis. The enforcement photographs do indeed show the document in your own picture. There was no reported fault with that part of the Civica system at the time and none has been logged since 

In the circumstances the charge will be withdrawn without any further action on the part of the motorist. Hurrah - let's hope they don't just pay it.

I will also ensure that a change to our procedures is implemented to add a further layer of checking where an officer has grounds to believe that a dispensation may be in place.

Thank you for your interest and for bringing this matter to my attention.

John McArdle

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard