Location Location

this could be the new location, as could anywhere else

Mr Mustard knows that yesterday was the day when Crapita came to town to speak to staff in scope (no, don't think people, silly) and they were armed with their fancy presentation. There are approx 600 staff in scope so Crapita will be back on Monday.

They are in Barnet to talk about the NSCSO project worth hundreds of £millions.

They rather feebly refused to answer questions about location claiming they have not been selected. Does anyone want to work for a company that will not answer a straight question? Automatically, one assumes the worst.

It is odd as Mr Mustard heard that when EC Harris and Capita Symonds were here in February to talk about the £275 million DRS contract they both made it clear at the start they would be delivering services from BARNET which will have calmed the fears of staff in scope for DRS.

Rumours are flying, and have flown in Mr Mustard's direction, that some faceless bureaucrat at Barnet Council has told the bidders not to answer questions about location.

If services are moved to Croydon, Bolton, Birmingham, Bangalore, Los Angeles in January 2013 then it is possible that almost 600 staff will find it impossible to transfer their job location (except the young, free and single who probably would locate to Los Angeles if the costs of moving were met) and they will all be made redundant.

Now let us go back to what the internal communications manager said. It was "The sessions will be 2 hours long and involve bidder presentations and the opportunity for you to ask questions." The implication of Mr Schroder's email was that you could ask questions, and get answers, otherwise you might as well just sit at your desk. Now either Mr Schroder was being a bit sly (good morning Jonathan, how are you this fine morning? had you thought of cutting out the middlemanmole and putting me on the circulation list for internal staff information?) and isn't to be trusted or you can ask what you like. There is nothing in EU procurement law that prevents a bidder from saying where he plans to site the services.

Imagine you are the bidding manager for huge contracts which involve providing office space for up to 600 people. Are you going to wait until you have got down to the last knockings before working out where and how you are going to run the service? of course not, that would be stupid in the extreme. So you will have already identified and costed the office space, the only possible reason not to say the probable location is that it isn't anywhere near Barnet.

Here is the plan for Monday. Those individuals who have had enough of Barnet Council and the bidding, step forward now.

Get in first and ask the questions to keep the noses clean of other colleagues who just have to remain. 

Where is my service going to be located? 

When they fob that off ask them where they have been looking for office space to rent or buy. 

Then ask where your service is most likely to be located?

What percentage chance is there that it will be in Barnet?

Ask them which local authority they last won a contract with? They will breathe a sigh of relief.

Then ask where that authorities staff have been or are going to be relocated to?

You should be starting to hack the bidder off at this point.

The bidder will look for someone else to ask a question.

The next person to step forward needs to also ask about location, and the next and the next and so on ad infinitum (i.e. for ever).

Tell the bidder that this is the first question that has to be answered and until it is none of your colleagues will ask about anything else.

Give the bidder the silent treatment. Sit there waiting for an answer to the location question.

Here is a challenge. Can you make the session last 2 hours with no other question being asked?

Actually there is a second question you can ask.

It is, are you always this evasive? (it's a when did you stop beating your wife sort of question - which you shouldn't do of course)

Have fun. 

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard