17 February 2012

One Barnet Person wanted - deadline today.

one day this will happen

It would make a pleasant change if someone from Barnet itself could apply for and obtain this position rather than some person driving in each day from Peterborough or Chelmsford or Northampton which is bad for the planet and for Barnet. You need to be able to perform the impossible but don't worry if you are an abject failure as if you can't manage this job in one year it can be extended for two more and other abject failures are still working away at Barnet Council

One Barnet Programme Manager



Job Summary

The London Borough of Barnet
Contract Type: Fixed Term
Working Pattern: Full time
Advert Start Date 27/01/2012
Advert End Date: 17/02/2012 17:00
Salary: £63,681 - £68,574
Hours per week: 36
Job Category: Project Management
Vacancy ID: 100691 
Closing date 17 Feb

Job information

The London Borough of Barnet is undergoing a fundamental transformation to become a truly citizen-centred council. Across all services, radical changes are being implemented to deliver:

• A new relationship with citizens;
• A one public sector approach;
• A relentless drive for efficiency.

These changes are managed through the One Barnet programme. The programme includes a varied portfolio of projects, including:
• Partnering with private sector organisations;
• The development of an innovative Local Authority Trading Company for social care and housing services;
• Shared services with other local authorities;
• Creation of new service delivery models, such as a completely revised Libraries Service;
• Development of community-led services, such as Community Coaching.

At the heart of the programme is also the delivery of national policy initiatives in a Barnet context, such as the Right to Control and Community Based Budgets.

We are currently recruiting to the position of One Barnet Programme Manager. If successful, you will lead and manage the Programme Office in delivering this large-scale and complex programme. You will be responsible for managing a PMO and a team of Project Managers. You will also be working closely with high level internal and external stakeholders.

We are looking for someone who has demonstrable experience of leading and motivating teams to ensure projects achieve business objectives on time and within budgetary constraints. This will have been obtained by working for different organisations where you will have held a similar role. Given the breadth of projects within the programme, you will have experience of handling significant dependencies between projects and helping senior stakeholders make tough and complex decisions. You will need to capitalise on this experience when developing creative options for complex problem solving.

The successful candidate will also have management experience, including sound budget and performance management. Experience of working with Directors, Members, partners and other key stakeholders is essential, as are excellent verbal and written communication skills.

You will have a proven ability to work independently, be self-motivated and have experience of using your initiative in achieving goals. You will need to be delivery-focused and be able to work flexibly, often within tight timescales and resources.

This is a 1 year fixed-term contract with the possibility of extension to March 2015.
Here is the role profile:
One Barnet Programme Manager - Role Profile - 100691

Make sure you step into a telephone box and change into costume before you try to actually do this manager post.

Oh, and by the way, it might be wise not to ask if you can pretend to be running a business and bill through a service company as Barnet Council are probably, reluctantly and as slowly as they can, moving away from dodging PAYE. You will have to go on the payroll like a normal employee.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard


  1. Dear Mr Walkley:

    I am happy to apply - no, sorry, my company, Broken Barnet Enterprises, has been conducting a far reaching search for a suitable candidate for this post and by chance they have found only one possible candidate, ie me. I have interviewed myself and found that I am in every way perfect and also completely suited to this job, therefore please get one of your officers to sign a DPR and take me on, no questions asked. I will require a consultancy fee that matches Mr Andrew 'Blackhole' Travers ie £1,000 per day, and I am happy to share an office with him, although he may have to sit on my lap (or vice versa) if there is not enough room for two One Barnet senior executive chairs.

    Yours as ever,

    Mrs Angry x

  2. You are giving Mr Mustard naughty thoughts about hot-desking Mrs Angry. I hadn't realised until your comment as to why it is so popular, @townhallmonkey has heard of this sort of fun in South Tyneside Council executive suite.

    My other thought is that I have previously written about non-jobs, this one is a nonsense job, you would be perfect for the role.

  3. "Mrs A, Although the Chief Secretary of the Treasury is worried about senior civil service and quango posts being filled by tax-avoiding, company-owning individuals, we feel he will never get around to looking at Barnet Council, or even asking Mr Pickles to do so.

    "We are pleased to say, therefore, that your company, 'Broken Barnet Enterprises Limited', has been awarded the contract of filling this important managerial position. We, of course, avoid having to pay employer's national insurance with this arrangement, so it is a win-win position for us all.

    "We must point out, however, that our whole strategy of oneBarnet is built on very shaky foundations, and so we cannot guarantee the contract will last its course. For that reason, please try and produce as many Powerpoint presentations as you can, in the early months of your contract, and milk it for expenses as well, because the good times may not last.

    "Glad to have you on board."

  4. In all my years as a tax officer / credit controller / credit consultant ( on a Traversesque daily rate ) / debt collector one thing that I have noticed is that companies with the word "Enterprises" in them often fail.

    So maybe Broken Barnet Consultancy Ltd would be better, more usually known as BBC; no-one will bother you about the acronym Mrs Angry and if they do you can get that nice Ms Martinus in legal to send a please desist letter.

  5. Hmm. Thank you gentlemen. Hot desking: sounds good, although not necessarily with Mr Travers. I see I will have my own project portfolio, which sounds promising. BBC. Yes. More me. Think I might have problems with the powerpoint presentations, baarnett. When do I start?


I now moderate comments in the light of the Delfi case. Due to the current high incidence of spam I have had to turn word verification on.