Syrian Kitchen - Saturday 14th July (at Cafe Buzz)

Mr Mustard can't, sadly, make the above event but you could.

Have a good feed & help refugee women at one and the same time.

Here is the link so you can reserve your seats and see photos of the sort of fabulous food you will be served.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

Council only metaphorically several sandwiches short of a picnic?

Waitrose: sandwiches for 4-6 people = £18

Now Mr Mustard isn't the only person to think that the council's One Barnet* decisions have been taken by people who are one sandwich short of a picnic (the very idea that you can outsource almost everything and all your problems will go away and you will save money is patently absurd as is voting for 2,000 page contracts that you haven't read) but when it comes to having post council meeting picnics refreshments the horses (no, don't mix up your stories Mr M - Ed) are not spared and a shocking amount is spent on sandwiches even though half of the councillors might have to rush off to other important engagements.

so polite "would it be possible..."

We could save £4,000 a year by not providing sandwiches after full council meetings. After all, what do bloggers do? Well, with a meeting starting at 7pm they probably eat at 6pm and then set off to the Town Hall or, if they have to set off earlier, they buy their own sandwich and eat it on the journey. If they are still hungry after the meeting they go and spend their own money in the noodle bar opposite the Town Hall or decide that a pint of Youngs and a bag of crisps will adequately fill their stomach and adjourn to The Greyhound. If the public can manage then so can councillors. Why are sandwiches provided for full council meetings but not for other committee meetings? (Mr Mustard is pretty sure that they aren't as councillors tumble out of the Town Hall like ferrets over a cliff the minute that meetings end), it isn't logical as they usually all start at 7pm and finish by 10pm.

If sandwiches are absolutely necessary, which they aren't, then Waitrose can supply them at a cost of £18 times 12 for a small mountain of sandwiches (veggie ones are £2 less per tray) = £228. Why on earth is £512 (and 50p) being spent each time?

Mr Mustard consulted a certain "troublesome" café owner, Helen Michael of Cafe Buzz in Finchley, N12 and asked her to quote for sandwich supply. Now of course we haven't seen a list of exactly what is normally on the groaning buffet table but she guessed there would have to be veggie and kosher sandwiches and 63 of at £2.50 a time would be £157.50. Let's suppose that half of the councillors will need two whole rounds of sandwiches and add in some large round cakes made by Helen's fair hand (boy, is she good at baking) and a small delivery charge and we are still only up to £300 (a photo from a councillor of the spread at the next meeting would be nice so that the whole world can see if this is merely a subsistence spread or too lavish) and a local business is supported by the council. It would make up for some of the 30% drop in turnover that removing cash parking meters caused to the businesses of the borough.

More sandwiches for less money. Now why isn't that the council mantra, perhaps because it is the councillors' own stomachs they are thinking of?

Until a photo comes his way, Mr Mustard has had to use his imagination as to what the post full Council meeting buffet room looks like.

Yours frugally, unlike our council

Mr Mustard

p.s. The basic councillor's allowance is £10,597 which would buy 588 trays of Waitrose sandwiches, sufficient for 2,352 to 3,528 councillors. Oink.

* "One Barnet" should be renamed "No Barnet" as soon there won't be anything much left except for overpaid Commissioners.

Update: 19 Nov 14

The concern of the public for the health and wellbeing of the bloggers is heartening. I have had the star rating of the noodle bar brought to my attention.

On the other end of the scale Cafe Buzz has now been awarded 5 stars this very week.

Update: 20 November 14

As ever, Jack Cohen, our one and only liberal democrat councillor, who isn't in public service to line his pockets but to serve the public and consequently Mr Mustard would happily buy him a slap up dinner after every full council meeting (but Jack won't accept even a tea or coffee if he pops in for a chat having spied an activist or two in Cafe Buzz, as often happens) is on the money

Still, Richard's answer is inadequate as it doesn't inform Rebecca, and us, of the number of sandwiches provided, as she asked. The libraries budget is being cut by a huge amount but the councillors' catering budget not by a penny?

 

Mr Mustard has also learnt of other sandwiches It isn't clear if the media sandwiches (bloggers are new media but the council certainly won't be feeding us and Mr Mustard would want to send any fish paste sandwiches off for analysis before eating them, or at the very least have Miss Marple by his side) and there are sandwiches for Officers (staff) as well. If any London wide media are reading, why not send a Freedom of Information request to every London council to see what they spend after, or before, full council meetings.

Never mind the fine detail. The question is one of principle. Should councillors get free scoff after a 3 hour meeting?

The Friday Joke - Brian is mellowing

There is to be a vote of no confidence in the leader of Barnet Council, Richard Cornelius (Mr Mustard is perfectly OK with the man himself and is always trying to get him to play truant after meetings and come to the Greyhound for a pint - he would like to but is always very busy -  Mr Mustard often refers to him as the "leader" as he doesn't think he is much of one but must have some negotiating skills to have hung on despite so many debacles). Mr Mustard saw in the local paper that Corny is allowed to vote that he has confidence in himself and that struck Mr Mustard as most amusing as well as a bit sad and rather pragmatic.

The numbers are finely balanced with 32 Conservative councillors, 30 Labour & the Liberal-Democrat tour de force Jack Cohen. Now Mr Mustard doesn't presume to know which way Jack will vote and hasn't asked him but suppose for one moment he decides to vote that he doesn't have confidence in the Leader and that Corny wasn't allowed, or opted not to as a man of honour, vote, then there could with full attendance be 31 votes each way with the Mayor having the casting vote and we can guess that he would save Corny's skin as he was supported by his Leader in "LandlordGate". So as you can see ever vote is going to count and all it might take is one brave Conservative councillor to vote against, perhaps with another councillor who has ambitions to be deputy leader in support, and we are going to have a leadership contest. Such fun.

The newspaper article led to the following tweets (and there were other people who also tweeted) and although Brian has blocked Mr Mustard he couldn't resist commenting and instead of the rather "robust" comments he usually makes he mildly admonished Mr Mustard in the nicest way possible. Has Brian turned over a new leaf?

Will we see him next in Cafe Buzz with a bunch of flowers and a fulsome written apology and having his breakfast there every day as the start of his rehabilitation programme to re-enter politics (now you have taken a joke too far Mr Mustard and diverted into the realms of fantasy: Ed)

Have a good weekend all and don't take any chances with your parking as Mr Mustard is about to be exceptionally busy with a surfeit of work.

Mr Mustard

Task and Finish (off the traders) Group

Look, pedestrians, probably spending money in local shops

Last night Mr Mustard attended, along with other local business people and concerned residents, an open meeting of the Task & Finish Group about the possibility of installing cash parking meters once again.

Very little notice was given of the meetings and local bloggers, activists and residents associations, as well as the local paper all spread the word.

There were five people who had asked to speak (Mr Mustard had misunderstood, he put his evidence in and rather thought councillors would decide who they wanted to hear from but no, you self selected) and they all spoke eloquently of the devastation to their businesses (Helen Michael of Cafe Buzz and Paul Shea of Tally Ho Discount (very good for fruit and veg), both of which businesses mostly get paid in cash so their customers evidently have it to hand) and of changes to their shopping patterns (residents Barbara & Bob Jacobson) which led them to go places where parking is easier to pay for or free. There was a fair bit of heckling when Gail Laser, who represents the traders of High Barnet was refused permission as she hadn't put in her request in time and Cllr Gordon managed to get himself into a bit of a knot by saying he had only heard of traders from North Finchley and then refuse for a spare 5 minutes of time to be given to Gail who some councillors, and most of the audience, wanted to hear from.

Dan of the Barnet Bugle was doing sterling service as per usual, see his footage here, Mr Mustard showed his appreciation afterwards by buying him a pint of shandy in the Greyhound and shocked the staff by telling them that he had been under-charged. They totalled up his round again and accepted another £3.60 from him. You can't slip an obvious error by Mr Mustard.

When it came to the question of the whole galaxy of written submission, which councillors had probably all read in advance, Mr Mustard rather expected some open discussion of them. That was not to be. Instead Cllr Dean Cohen was allowed to the table to tell us how marvellous things were in High Barnet and Mill Hill and so on, based upon just one written submission, the one that partly favoured not having cash but in which it was pointed out that most of the provision in High Barnet is private car parking and takes cash. You couldn't make it up.

Anyone, then thank goodness Cllr Gordon said something which probably had the "Leader" Richard Cornelius groaning (Mr Mustard was in the front row and hadn't seen Richard come in from some other meeting) inwardly (Mr Mustard did invite Richard for a pint in the Greyhound but he had the missus with him, the Leaderene as she is apparently known so Mr Mustard offered to buy her a drink as well. Fighting back is very civilised in High Barnet but neither of them showed up). Anyway what Cllr Gordon asked aloud was

Is this (return of cash meters) economically viable?

How would it affect the budget?

What cuts would have to be made elsewhere?

If ever you wanted proof that Barnet Council is involved in illegal revenue raising from parking then that was it.

As an aside this morning a PATAS adjudicator asked Mr Mustard why he helped people with their appeals. He told her there were 9 reasons of which one was that the council were using parking tickets as revenue raisers (they all do that in London she said, whilst earning £50 an hour as part of the process!) and another that donations get made for charity. She described Mr Mustard's behaviour as strange which it may be but it also effective (although he was on a very rare review of an Appeal, which was granted, so the PCN was back in play for a second Appeal but his client blatantly parked where another person wouldn't have done and has probably done himself in despite the best efforts of Mr Mustard on the technical side).

There was one written submission which was sent to councillors but not to governance so it didn't get published. It is rather good so here it is in full:

To: 'cllr.b.gordon@barnet.gov.uk'; 'cllr.r.houston@barnet.gov.uk'; 'cllr.h.rayner@barnet.gov.uk'; 'cllr.j.scannell@barnet.gov.uk'; 'cllr.a.schneiderman@barnet.gov.uk'
Subject: Parking Policy (Cash Meters) Task and Finish Group


Dear Councillors

We are writing to you to implore you to bring back cash parking meters to our car parks and high streets.

Since November 2011 when the meters were disabled trade has been drastically down.

Time and time again first time customers who have made a dedicated trip to our specialist sweet and sugarcraft shop have been so frustrated that they cannot pay for parking and let us know that they will not be returning. You cannot expect people from other boroughs to register for pay by phone or risk searching for a scratch card vendor. They simply will not do it and to pretend that we’ve all got to move with the times is nonsense and ignores the facts: cashless parking is killing the high streets. This is not a situation where one solution is the fix and pay by phone and card payment methods are what is required in addition to cash payments.

In light of our current national economic circumstances the council should be doing all it can to help bring trade to our high streets rather than put up barriers. With the unfair competition from the expansion of out of town shopping centres and the redevelopment of Brent Cross (which have plentiful free parking) we need to make sure that the vitality of our local communities is maintained. The restoration of cash parking would be a start, periods of free parking such as free after three would then be a small step in the right direction.

Please bring back cash parking meters!

Yours sincerely,

Alice and Michael Kentish

Hopscotch

88 High Street, Barnet, Herts, EN5 5SN

There is another meeting on Thursday at 7pm at which the decision will be taken as to whether to recommend the return of cash meters or not. Please do go as Mr Mustard can't make that one.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

North Finchley cafe invites seniors to "Supper and Songs"

North Finchley's Cafe Buzz has launched a musical supper club for seniors - Supper and Songs. A special discounted menu will be accompanied by a selection of classic songs in a bid to create a friendly place for older residents to eat healthy food and meet new people

Supper and Songs is a joint project created by Age UK Barnet and Cafe Buzz. It is a new initiative to bring people together around delicious, affordable food in a friendly atmosphere where they can eat to the music they loved in their younger days.

The first Supper and Songs is at 5 pm on Monday October 28 - traditional meal and coffee will cost £6 

or 

for a full dinner with soup and pudding, Supper and Songs will cost £9.

Cafe Buzz owner Helen Michael said: "I was delighted when approached about this. It's hard to prepare real nutritious food when you're older and I'm excited about turning the cafe into a place where older people can feel at home."

Managing the scheme at Age UK Barnet is Karen Williamson: "We find that older people can fall into poor eating habits at home. This is a perfect way to both improve their diet and offer a chance to make new friends."

For more information call Cafe Buzz on 020 8446 9906.

---

So if you have £6 or £9 to spare and know an old person who would enjoy an evening out then why not book them a place and pay for it and/or give them a lift there and back. 

Yours frugally (and dinner for £6 with entertainment is pretty frugal) 

Mr Mustard

NSL = No sick leave?

photo credit: anonymous member of public (not Helen Michael before you ask)

Mr Mustard has not spoken to this particular traffic warden and doesn't know what the medical problem is but can't believe that elf and safety allows for someone who needs both hands free to use the parking ticket equipment and to use their crutches to stay upright as well as to get about during a long shift of many hours, to be on duty. (The ever lovely & kind Queen of Parking, Helen Michael of Cafe Buzz offered her a free cup of tea and a sit down when she saw her but the traffic warden refused because her supervisor was about.) There is something really morally wrong here. The lady is being inhumanely treated.

He is amazed to see that she has been sent out on the street by NSL rather than given a desk job whilst she recovers.

Be nice to the lady if you meet her but don't let that stop you driving away before she gets the ticket stuck to your windscreen. You are under no obligation to take it from her hand. Then you have good grounds of appeal "the PCN was not served" if it does not get posted to you.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

Famous five Barnet Bloggers' open letter

Silence has been golden these last few months on the subject of the alleged assault of Helen Michael, a cafe owner (those words may come back to haunt you Richard Cornelius) which turned out, and no Barnet blogger ever doubted Helen for a moment, to be a real assault, if Brian had swng Helen around much more he could have been appearing in Dancing on Ice, and now finally disciplinary action is to be taken.

Barnet's Bloggers don't sit silent and we have written to the current "leader" of the council, Richard Cornelius demanding some action.You didn't show any leadership Richard last September did you?

This is what we wrote:

Dear Mr Cornelius

On Friday 3 May Councillor Brian Coleman pleaded guilty to the charge of common assault by beating of Helen Michael, in the High Road in North Finchley. Evidence from CCTV was shown in court and proved incontrovertibly that this incident was nothing less than an utterly indefensible act of aggression. It resulted from Councillor Coleman being caught parking in a loading bay, trying to evade the hugely controversial parking payment scheme he had imposed on residents in this borough.

Despite the fact that he has now been convicted of a criminal act of assault, Barnet Council has refused to comment, absurdly claiming that this is unnecessary as the attack did not take place while the Councillor was on council business.

Indeed local Tory members, including leader Richard Cornelius, openly continued to support their fellow member after he was charged, and were privately informing others that the story of the assault was false. Councillor Coleman was suspended from the party only after intervention from Conservative Central Office. Since the conviction, local Conservatives have issued no statement.
By his own actions Councillor Coleman has shown himself to be unfit for public office: such bullying behaviour, dishonesty and hypocrisy are not acceptable in an elected representative of the community. We demand therefore that he stand down from his seat in Totteridge, and that the Conservative Party expel him from membership.

We call on Richard Cornelius, as leader of Barnet Council, and on behalf of the Conservative Party in this borough, to apologise to Ms Michael, and to dissociate himself and his colleagues from this appalling incident. To remain silent is not an option: to remain silent is to condone an act of violence against a woman, and this was and must always be absolutely unacceptable.

Signed:

Derek Dishman
John Dix
Vicki Morris
Theresa Musgrove
Roger Tichborne

Richard always seems to be on holiday when the proverbial hits the wotsit. Welcome back to Barnet, Richard.

Don't expect the pressure to relent between now and May 2014; will you bother standing?

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

A moment of Madness

The Madness of the King of Bling

tarnished bling

From Brian's low rent flat (fancy thinking in Court that the whole world didn't know where he lives, you only have to follow the gritting lorry as it leaves the depot) to the cashpoint at HSBC in Finchley High Road is a mere 0.8 miles which one can walk, per google, in 16 minutes or cycle it in half of that. Why oh why did Brian feel the need to take the car that fateful day in September 2012 when he needed some cash for his handyman. Mr Mustard frequently walks from the junction between Etchingham Park Rd and Ballards Lane back to Cafe Buzz as it saves his pennies, being outside the CPZ, and gives him much needed exercise. It is probably how he got falsely accused of stalking councillors although the blogger bus having his name on the side makes it a bit obvious! Incidentally google streetmap was updated on the day the Olympic torch came through, there are cones everywhere.

History

First some history for non-Barnet Residents. In the spring of 2011 Brian Coleman was the Cabinet Member with responsibility for parking. Although he loves driving, badly it seems as he is always picking up points, 

(and we are all guilty of that occasionally. Mr Mustard took his road legal race track Aprilia Tuono V4 to Uxbridge as that gave him free parking in the residents' bays and he looked away from the road for a few seconds and when he looked back a car had stopped a bike length in front of him. Emergency application of the front brakes saw the front tyre bite into the road suface, thankfully better in the LB of Hillingdon than in the LB of Barnet, and the rear wheel lift of the ground! This is a trick known as a stoppie for those who don't ride. Don't try this at home. It puts your heart into your mouth. A collision was averted which is just as well as the bike cost as much as a medium sized car and would have probably been a write-off)

he wasn't averse to punishing the motorist with a massive hike in charges. The charge for parking all day on street was increased from £4 to £7 i.e. by 75% (no-one at the council knows anything about elasticity of demand) and visitor vouchers, which are meant to be concessionary, from £1 to £4 for a day, an increase of 300%. At the same time the price for a resident to park their first car within the CPZ was increased from £40 p.a. to £100 p.a. an increase of 150%. These changes are the subject of a Judicial Review which is expected to come before the High Court on or about 2 July (Mr Mustard is taking all of his annual holidays in Court this year). These changes were the first event to catapult Mr Mustard into blogging.

Although Brian was the lead councillor for parking, there is collective irresponsibility in the Cabinet who met on 14 February 2011 (The Valentines Day Massacre of motorists and businesses?) and agreed to the increases having plainly failed to apply any restraint to their over enthusiastic colleague. The entire Cabinet should be ashamed of their failure to act which has contributed to the enormous financial pressures piled onto the businesses of our High Streets and should have prevented Brian from pursuing an obviously bonkers policy. I doubt they had all read every line of the Cabinet papers as surely otherwise they would have moderated the worse excesses?

Then during the summer of 2011 Brian signed a Delegated Powers Report to remove all the parking meters in the whole of Barnet, approx 450 parking meters which each cost £4,000 to buy and install, hence about £1.8m worth and turned it into scrap for which less than £10,000 was recovered. Brian did have the power to sign the DPR as technically in the relevant legislation this was a minor amendment although it had major consequences. When the legislation was enacted pay-by-phone probably didn't exist.

Parking meters were removed in late 2011 and early 2012 and this left motorists without both a mobile phone and a credit or debit card at a huge disadvantage. Trade for businesses plummeted by 30% and has not been recovered.

Slowly, card only parking meters are being reintroduced but they do not fix the problem for the unbanked.

What history could have been like.

What could have happened that fateful day in September 2012 when Helen Michael of Cafe Buzz was tipped off by an observant friend that Brian Coleman had naughtily stopped his car in a loading bay in order to use the cashpoint.

Brian could have laughed, given Helen a wave, got back into his car with Tom and driven carefully away.

Helen is one of the team when it comes to bloggers and she would have given the footage to bloggers. It would have appeared on various blogs and for a day or two Brian would have been the centre of attention. Brian could have agreed to pay the equivalent of a Penalty Charge to the Lord Mayor's charity. Given his record for outrageous statements and behaviour the matter would have been just a small extra blot on his copybook.

Brian would then have had less of the Barnet blogosphere rowed up against him (red, blue, green, yellow supporters all got together and the ABC campaign, Anyone But Coleman, gathered momentum) and might not have lost his seat on the London Assembly. That would have allowed him to remain on the Fire Authority and there would have been no need for him to stand down as Chairman of the Budget & Performance Overview & Scrutiny Committee or lose his place on the NLWA. 

Mr Mustard went to the last meeting which he chaired, having asked Richard Cornelius why Brian was still being allowed to chair it after his arrest (rules of the council's due process apparently, the full council had to remove him as chair, although Mr Mustard thinks Richard was too frit to do anything) and one thing he will say for Brian is that he had clearly read all of the papers, knew what was in them and stood no nonsense from committee members although he was a horrible bully to members of the public.

Conclusion

So if Brian had walked away and paid £110 to charity he might not have lost about £110,000 off his annual income and would not now have a criminal offence on his record, look, it is already on Wikipedia.

It is reported in the Telegraph that Brian was hated by a section of the Barnet community, a large cross section Mr Mustard would hazard, however Mr Mustard reckons that Brian's biggest enemy is, himself.

The Future

Mr Mustard would expect any other person to do the honourable thing now and resign and leave public service (oh how we laughed when that old chestnut was advanced in Court, how Brian has dedicated himself) do some charity work (helping victims of crime perhaps?) and get a proper job and sink out of public sight.

As this is Brian we are talking about the future won't be that predictable.

Will bloggers still be writing about Brian in May 2014? Come back then and find out.

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

A Twist of the Wrist

Mr Mustard is a keen motorcyclist and has read the following book. It is more popular than he realised. How amusing that it should have been written by Keith Code, and not Code, of Conduct.

Twist Risk Basics

Mr Mustard will be on his motorcycle tomorrow in order to whizz (at 30mph max) to Cafe Buzz (free parking for motorcycles in pay & display bays whether the signs are blacked out or not). He will make sure he doesn't get in front of an erratically driven Toyota.

On Wednesday evening after Brian's grandstanding performance as Chairman of the Budget & Performance Overview & Scrutiny committee (some self scrutiny would now be in order) it is customary for the bloggers and friends and sometimes councillors of all 3 parties to retire to a well known local hostelry for a nice glass of Young's beer, a couple of large glasses of Sauvignon or a soft drink or shandy depending on the means of transport home. Mr Mustard usually gives a lift to anyone who needs one which is often another blogger or two. As he drove the blogger bus past the Town Hall the leader of the council Richard Cornelius was standing on the pavement chatting to other councillors and/or officers (Mr Mustard couldn't clock them all as he was driving) and so Mr Mustard gave Richard a cheery wave and Richard, being so polite, couldn't stop himself from waving back. He is such a sport that Mr Mustard is thinking of personally inviting him to the pub for a post-meeting libation and will stand him a drink (he hasn't told the other bloggers this but the pub is of course public so he is sure they will welcome a bit more company). The price of the drink is likely to be a thorough grilling by whoever is in the pub that night. Cameras will be kept in their bags and so there should not be any unseemly bar room brawls.

Mr Mustard likes to email Richard with advice or suggestions and he did it twice this week. So they don't feel left out every councillor gets their own copy except Brian Coleman for this one.

---

Dear Cllr. Cornelius

Oh dear. It seems, to all accounts, that a bad example has been set by Cllr Coleman (I have for once left him off the circulation list) and I doubt that this is the first time on which he has flouted the very parking regulations that he was responsible for until the Cabinet reshuffle.

I think the Council will look hypocritical if it continues to chase any unpaid parking tickets currently in issue for the same offence of a car parked in a loading bay and not in the process of loading.

Why don't you announce an amnesty for that offence? It can't be all that many tickets so would hardly affect the Special Parking Account (which isn't meant to be used for revenue raising in any event) and would generate some much needed good publicity for Barnet Council. You could tie the loading bay ticket cancellation offer to an undertaking from the motorist to not repeat the offence in the future thus achieving the laudable aim of improving compliance. It's a bit like those driver retraining days that are offered instead of penalty points, nudging citizens into better behaviour rather than beating them with a stick (in the form of a PCN).

Have a lovely weekend.

Yours sincerely

Mr Mustard

---

Richard often replies but not always. He hasn't had time to reply to this recent message yet and he is probably now engaged on an evening of damage limitation and struggling with what he should do. It's too late to go back Richard, the damage is done, look here it is:

Broken Barnet; Broken Wrist

Start looking to the future. May 2014 is just around the corner (just like that mysterious black van, apparently)

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard

Fight night in North Finchley

Mr Mustard likes Cafe Buzz. He greatly admires Helen Michael who has campaigned tirelessly on behalf of her fellow traders whose businesses have been badly damaged by the double policy assault of making it hard to pay (by removing parking meters) and increasing charges at a time of recession and increased internet competition, a policy spearheaded by the then Cabinet Member with "responsibility" for parking, one Brian Coleman.

Imagine how incensed traders were when they saw Brian Coleman's car in a loading bay and him at a nearby ATM. Not one to talk and not act Helen Michael grabbed her phone and started to film Brian's car. At this point pandemonium ensued, which you can read about here in the Evening Standard.

Would the Finchley Boxing Club have allowed such a mis-match between two fighters of different weights

Half of photo stolen from son of Mrs Angry?

No, they wouldn't have risked Brian in with such a tigress. If Mr Mustard was a betting man, which he isn't, same as Brian funnily enough, he would say Brian was twice her weight.

Grappling with a lady and bruising her arm is not gentlemanly behaviour.

Mr Mustard observed Brian at close quarters on Wednesday evening. In Committee Room 3, the public are only separated from the meeting table by about a metre. We have to look at the back of the heads of councillors on one side of the table but get a reasonable view of the other 3 sides. Mr Mustard has never spoken to Brian Coleman, although they have exchanged a few emails, including the lovely one from Brian that said:

"stop emailing me you idiot"

which looks rather pot and kettle now.

Mr Mustard noted down, more or less, some of the things that Brian said (Mr Mustard writes in a frenzy of purple ink on a yellow pad - Paperchase pads are top notch).

At the end of public question time which Brian raced through like a greyhound, albeit the fattest greyhound you could imagine, and which the public who asked the questions found wholly unsatisfactory, see Mr Reasonable's blog, he finished by saying "Thank you for the exciting questions" which he quite possibly didn't mean. Mr Mustard thinks that the Police will have expected proper answers to their questions and won't stop asking until they get answers. No convenient 30 minute time limit for those questions.

Brian said "I don't mind how people live their lives as long as they don't break the law" which are words he may have to eat at some future date.

On Brian's turgid King of Bling blog, no don't look, it will only encourage him, there was a posting "Get a life" about the "amateur and often obsessive blogger”. In this piece Brian made some amazing claims, including:-

"my 88 year old Mother was attacked in the street" oh dear, Helen Michael is not a blogger but Brian obviously doesn't approve of attacking ladies in the street and yet he has been arrested on suspicion of assault (and we know that was of a lady, whether 88 or not is irrelevant and Mr Mustard has never seen his mother in person, only on film at the GLA election count).

Here is a tweet from today which is apposite to the whole situation.

When it comes to making your mark on the world, do you want to leave scars, or do you want to leave smiles?

Yours frugally

Mr Mustard