Mr Mustard has shamelessly borrowed the following joke from his friends at Rapid Training who took his self taught motorcycling "skills" and added safety, control and good progress. If you ride a motorcycle and think you could improve, or even more so if you think you can't, spend a day on the road with one of their instructors and become much better and safer.
Stranded On An Island:
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.”
The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She comes up to the man and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years!” he says.
She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”
Then she asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?”
He replies, “Ten years!”
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some REAL fun?”
And the man replies, “My God! Don’t tell me you’ve got a motorcycle in there!”